Night Terrors

Anyone whose has read this blog since the very beginning might remember all the suffering we went through with Ethan's night terrors (which finally stopped before Ian was born). Our suffering, not his:) I've decided that Ian must be having night terrors too. You'd think I would be able to realize it right away after having gone through it with Ethan but I finally just figured it out. He has always cried in his sleep but lately it has been more like screaming. For a while we blamed it on his ear infections or his teething, which some of it may have been that. But lately it's been the same time each night. A few times I went in thinking he needed Advil for teething and ended up waking him up and then he was confused and wanted to be up the rest of the night. (One of the no no's with night terrors is to never wake them up--I ended up being up with him for 3 hours in the middle of the night). So since I realized he may be having night terrors, I've not rushed in when he was screaming and watched him on the monitor and he was behaving the same way Ethan did with his night terrors and within 5 minutes he stopped. One of the factors that can trigger an episode is not getting enough sleep and Ian is prone to either wake up early in the morning or not take a long enough nap so there's a good chance we'll be dealing with this some more. At least we know what to expect this time around...(need I refer back to a previous post when Ethan had a night terror every hour for five hours one night?)

Reading List

I was updating my virtual bookshelf recently and noticed how little I've been reading. I've been in the middle of C.S. Lewis's biography for weeks now, it seems like I get to read a page at a time. For those who don't know, the virtual bookshelf is an app. on Facebook where you can list the books you have read or want to read and also give a review of them. I read a post on the GirlTalk blog (see link on the side) about having a list of books to be read in your lifetime. The books she had listed as examples were an awesome collection. I have an ongoing list of books I've seen reviewed or have come across that I want to read and check them off as I buy them. My list is like 40 long so I have a long ways to go. Our pastor has a list of books that he gives out of those that every Christian should read. I've listed my favorite parenting books in previous posts but I think I want to come up with my lifetime list. In reading C.S. Lewis's biography, not only is it about his life but much of it includes books and how they shaped his life. I love the way he described books and felt that he put into words my thoughts about reading. My husband frequently teases me about the number of books that I have (though I remind him that I got rid of about 150 books so that we could fit the children in our house). I have a hard time letting go of books because they are like friends to me. I have an emotional attachment to them because each one has been with me at different times in my life and I can remember what I learned from each book and what I was going through at the time. I guess they are kind of like photos. We keep pictures because looking at them reminds us of experiences in our past so I guess my books are snapshots of places I have been intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally. What books stand out to you that would you list on your lifetime list?

Game Night

We hosted game night recently. We hadn't done a game night in a long time. It used to be something we did quite regularly before kids and now I can't remember the last time. It's a great way to have fun and save money. We tried a new game that I had gotten over the holidays; In a Pickle (actually one I had taken from someone else during a gift exchange game). It's always challenging to try and figure out a new game when reading the instructions but then once you've played it, it seems so easy. And then of course we did some games on the Wii. Ethan was knocked out during a game of boxing and wasn't very happy about it(in fact he carried on for quite a while). And poor Ian fell and hurt himself more times than I remember. Good times had by all:)

ENT Followup

I scheduled another appt. with Ethan's surgeon, this time I brought my husband along so I would be sure that we left understanding everything. He's pretty sure Ethan will end up needing the sinus surgery. It's been two years of one infection after another. We've ruled out cystic fibrosis, his immune system has been checked out, he has no allergies, and his adnoids have been removed. He wants us to go ahead and get the second opinion from the Ped. ENT at U. Miami. He said that there is a chance the dr. will want to rule out reflux as a cause first. He also said that some dr.'s like to try a course of antibiotics via IV first as well. The ENT said also that while he is willing to do the surgery, he doesn't do them every week like they to at a teaching hospital and if it were his child, he would choose a doctor who did the surgeries frequently (there is some risk to the surgery since the areas of the sinus's that they do surgery on is near the optic nerve). So, March 5th we will be headed down south for a day trip to get a second opinion about why Ethan is always sick and what we can try next.

Spiritual Growth

We are still reading Ephesians in our couple's small group and I was reading ahead for our next meeting from Chapter 4. It talks about the unity in the body of Christ, each one of us receiving gifts that are to be used to benefit the whole body and vs 13 says "until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." That is something to look forward to! God wants us to mature in our faith but not on our own and out on our own, he wants us to grow in our faith together, helping one another along. Having brothers and sisters in Christ to encourage us and help us along in our walk is a gift of God's grace to us. I definitely experience that every time I share with a friend about struggles and challenges I face and know that they are praying for me. I pray also for our children that they grow up having Christian brothers and sisters in Christ that encourage them along as they grow in their faith. My husband and I experienced that sense of community while in college where we had others in the faith to hold us accountable and walk with us through the challenges we faced and I am grateful that God has provided that same sense of community in our church here.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." Eph 1:3.

Soy Icecream

I feel badly for Ian that he can't eat dairy products so I picked up some soy based icecream bars for him. He seemed to enjoy them, though he doesn't know any better. Funny thing is, when I was a kid, we always had soy ice cream. I would never eat it now!

Growing and Growing

Ian is just about completely into size 2T now. Amazing. Thanks to a couple of friends who have lent clothes, he is able to have things to wear. It may seem suprising that we would need to borrow clothes, but Ethan is so skinny that he wears his shorts until they have to be thrown out and most of his t'shirts end up so stained that they can't be passed on. The other ironic thing is that Ethan is still wearing all of his 3T shorts so Ian is one size behind him. Maybe a year from now they'll be wearing the same shorts! (it'll be a while before Ian catches up in the t'shirts since Ethan is in 5-6 in shirts).

Wooden Toys

There have been no opportunities to blog about lately since the holidays are over but I finally came across one to write about today. I learned about a site that sells high quality Wooden Toys. I'm always keeping an eye out for good toys for the boys, and am frequently frustrated with what I usually find at the toy store. This Wooden Toys site sells quality wooden toys that are both unique and educational. They have everything from baby pull toys to trucks to building blocks. What I thought was really neat, especially for boys who love building are block sets that actually build real buildings like the Leaning Tower in Italy. Very cool. This is definitely a site to keep in mind for relatives that want to know what to get kids for birthdays and holidays.

Ian Sleeps In

Ian slept in until 7am this morning, yay! It was great to have time to shower and read the word before the boys woke up. I usually end up reading my bible before I go to bed at night but I have to admit that sometimes I am tired and not as focused as I should be. My small group has been reading the Shopping for Time book that talks about ways to prioritize and focus your time so that you can do what God has called you to. In thinking about that, I set up a little table and lamp next to a chair in my room so that I can read and pray. It's a comfy spot but not too comfy like my bed:) I've also decided that I need to organize my prayer life as well so I'm using a journal to write down what I need to pray about so that I will stay on task and keep my mind from wandering. The last couple of years I've come to a realization that I've been sitting around waiting for God to feed me spiritually rather than getting up off my you-know-what and being proactive in my spiritual life. I've realized that because of being constantly fed spiritually both in high school and college, once I left college I stumbled on my own. I kept looking for someone else to lead the way and direct me to spiritual growth and it sadly took me a while to realize I need to get my act together. It was awesome both in high school and college being in the word everyday, always learning about God from teachers and professors, there were always opportunities to meet with others for prayer and bible study, and always opportunities for ministry. I've really missed that and over the course of time since I started this blog I've been praying for opportunities to have those experiences again. God has definitely been answering those prayers. And this last book we've read on organizing time has been a great help in that. The HS is definitely teaching me a lot and pushing me to be more proactive in my spiritual walk. There are no college professors waiting and ready to teach me what I want to learn in the bible, I need to get engaged myself, pray, read, study, and fellowship with other believers. Living adult life away from the bible belt and away from the Christian college experience is one of growth for sure. The Lords has me living in Florida for some reason...

Hot Day

Yesterday was really quite warm so I filled the water table with water for the boys to play in. Ian got inside it and had a great time. I got him dried off in time for my small group to arrive and then he and another friend ended up getting into the water table again.

Changes are coming

I recently registered both boys for preschool this coming fall. That's right, both boys. Ethan will be going five half days a week to the same school he's been going to but the state will pay for it this year (yay!) and Ian will go two mornings a week starting in November. It's a ways off yet but it feels like my life will be changing. Just when Ethan had gotten independent and out of the baby stage, I had another baby. So in thinking about them both being at school together I've realised that the baby caring stage of my life will soon be over. There is certainly some sadness to it because we are really enjoying the stage Ian is in now but it also means some increased freedom for me. Two mornings a week does not afford me much time at all but I hope that maybe I can get back in to going to the women's bible study at church (they don't have a sitter so I've not gone since Ian was a little one). I've also been talking with our pastor about ministry opportunities I can be involved with, hopefully using the license I continue to pay for:) Having them in school has also gotten me thinking about hobbies and activities I once enjoyed prior to kids. I used to love to write poetry and have a whole notebook of old ones I've written in the past. It would be fun to get back into that. When Ian starts kindergarten and assuming I'm not homeschooling, I would really like to take some seminary classes (hopefully my husband isn't reading this because he frequently reminds me of the cost of my master's degree that I haven't used in almost years). But I really miss all the bible courses we took in college and would love to get back into that again. So I can see some changes in my life on the horizon and wonder what God has in store for me?

No Allergies

I have been rereading Job recently and it's a good thing because all of Ethan's medical issues are really stretching me beyond what I can handle. But God is gracious and I knew He was with us yesterday giving me strength. Yesterday Ethan had his third try at finding out what he is allergic to. First they did the back screening in which they put the allergen just barely under the skin. It's like a pinch but about 20+ pinches. I guess since Ethan is older and wiser, he didn't do so well with it as he had the first two times. After waiting a half hour to see if there is a response, there wasn't. So they did the more thorough testing where they inject the allergen deeper into the skin, this time with actual needles. 16 times. Poor Ethan kept crying and asking the nurse to stop. "Please no more!" He was very upset that his arm was bleeding and begging me to have them stop the test. As one recovering from needle phobia, it was quite difficult for me as well. Definitely a form of immersion therapy. So after being there 2hrs, it turns out he really does not have any allergies. Since he is still not recovered from his sinus infection, he is now on the steroids that we hate above all medications. We are not sure what to do next because it sounds like sinus surgery is the only other option.

Out of the Comfort Zone

In my quiet time the other night I read a quote from Samuel Rutherford that made me think about the plans we have for our lives and the ways in which God shows us that is plans are different and even better than ours. "If God had told me some time ago that He was about to make me as happy as I could be in this world and then had told me that He should begin by crippling me in arm or limb and removing from me all my usual sources of enjoyment, I should have thought it a very strange mode of accomplishing His purpose. And yet, how is His wisdom manifest even in this. For is you should see a man shut up in a closed room idolizing a set of lamps and rejoicing in their light and you wished to make him truly happy, you would begin by blowing out all of his lamps and then throw open the shutters to let in the light of heaven." I think everyone has expectations for what their life should be, plans for their life and would never imagine that the most trying and difficult times in their life is when they are closest to God and have the most joy. May we all remember and reflect on the fact that He is the potter and we are the clay, that our home is in heaven, and that He is our savior.
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." Ephesians 1:17-19

Crazy Week

Or should I say weeks? We're all sick now. I'm recovering from a very long sinus infection made more complicated by the extremely high pollen count. Ethan is finally on medication for his infection and now George has one. George went to get a second opinion from another surgeon about his frequent infections and that dr. said he'll eventually want to have sinus surgery. Poor Ian has been sick all week and I took him in today and he has an ear infection. He never pulls on his ears so the only way I know he has one is because of the screaming. We were able to get the sitter to come Wednesday night so we could escape the madness and go on a date. It was so nice to have adult conversation and to get out and do something. Yay for date night!

ENT

Yesterday I took Ethan back to his ENT to dicuss his recent CT scan. It was an hour drive, during which Ian took his nap. It's frustrating how nearly every doctor I go to has a long wait. I understand why they book appointments so close to each other and all the managed care issues. The psychiatrists I used to work with booked appointments every 15min. but it almost always took longer than that to see a patient. So after waiting a half hour in the waiting room, the kids are going crazy. While we are in the room with the dr. Ian is so ready to leave. Ethan's asking me one questions after another while the dr. is trying to talk to me. I had to hold Ian because he kept trying to get into the biohazard trash and so he's squirming in my arms and yelling in my ear. I left not really sure if I understood everything. Two things I remember: he wants to see how the intradermal allergy testing goes on Monday and if Ethan still doesn't have any allergies he wants us to go to University of Miami to the see an ENT there to get a second opinion as to whether Ethan would be a candidate for full on sinus surgery (apparently they only do it for kids 6 and up). That is not even a road that I want to go down so I'm praying that the allergy tests will provide us some answers.

CT Scan Results

Ethan had a CT scan on Friday. It was the third one that he's had so it went quickly since he knew what to do. I spoke with the allergist this morning about the results. Apparently his sinus's look the worst that they have ever looked. She won't prescribe anything for his infection and told me to take him back to the surgeon. She also had me schedule Ethan for his third round of allergy testing. She would for him to start allergy shots. So I'm off to pick up the films of the CT scan and am taking him to see the ENT tomorrow.

Thoughts on Proverbs

In my quiet time recently I was reading the verse from Proverbs "It is the Glory of God to conceal a matter." (25:2) and it made me think about the things in my life that I complain about, question God about, agonize over, etc. I'm constantly frustrated with all of our ongoing medical issues and keep wondering, why isn't anyone getting better? This verse reminds me that I may never get an answer to some of my questions. God doesn't promise an easy life to believers and because of the Fall, sin affects all areas of our lives: health, finances, friendships, etc. I guess because we live in a country with advanced medical knowledge and technology we assume that doctor's can figure things out and fix us. But, I am reminded that God is the great Healer and it is up to his timing. And for some, healing may not come (e.g. Paul and his "thorn in the flesh). I belong to Zondervan's Breakfast Club and a new book they have been profiling is one from Joni Eareckson Tada called "A Lifetime of Wisdom: Embracing the Way God Heals You" and some of what I've read focuses on Job and his response to all the loses and pain in his life. There is so much that can be learned from Job and I need to reread that book to get a better perspective on God and his sovereign work in my life. I don't want the boys to grow up always being concerned about their health and being anxious about it. (poor Ethan, I jump anytime he coughs and say, "oh no! you've got another sinus infection" and lately I've been having him do a breathing treatment every time he coughs). All that to say, I hope that I can show the boys that I have placed my trust in God for his will in all things, including our health.