Pals

Learning More

I'm continuing to read more about giftedness and am still learning a lot. It's like we've found the answer to a great mystery:) If this stuff is boring to you, don't read any further! I'm now reading "Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults." The last book I read briefly covered the characteristics of gifted kids and mostly focused on educational concerns. This new book focuses a great deal on the characteristics of those who are gifted or to use the technical term: "overexcitabilities." The categories of overexcitabilities include: psychomotor, sensual, intellectual, imaginational, and emotional. Some of what is covered in this book, I had learned in the last book I read. But a few new things have jumped out at me. Ever since we had Ethan, and now Ian too, I've wondered why does everyone elses children sleep so much better than mine? Neither of our boys have required the amount of sleep as most kids and both gave up their naps way before most kids do and I have learned that this is a common characteristic of gifted kids. Finally an answer! Ethan's psychmotor activity has always been a mystery to me and I mostly blamed it on his gender. When he reads books to me, he is in constant motion and while the motion is distracting to me, he is able to stay on task and read. The book pointed out that with gifted kids, they often need to move to stay focused on their task. This at least helps me to not be so annoyed when he's climbing all over the couch while we are reading a book. Overall, since I've been reading on this subject and talking to professionals about it, it has significantly helped me in my interactions and patience level with Ethan. I'm finding myself being more prepared with ways to keep him stimulated during the day and I can better understand his various sensitivities. One way to look at these kids is to relate it to television channels. Most people are born with just basic tv, ten channels or so. But gifted kids are born with satellite tv, with more channels to choose from than they know what to do with. This can overwhelm them and they can freeze and not be able to make decisions. Anyway, I'm sure I'll have more of this to share as time goes on. The problem for me is not only is it interesting because of Ethan but also because all psychological research is fascinating to me:)

Average Week

This week was the week I was hoping to have back in January. A normal week with no illnesses, crisis, or extra busyness. The boys went to school, I did my errands, attended all my bible studies, went to the gym, and even did all the laundrey. It's the calm before the storm because George is out of town next week. We're to meet him at Disney toward the end of the week. So I'm happy for this one normal week to get me prepped for the next:)

Prophecy

Lately I've been thinking I may have the gift of prophesy, at least when it comes to my kids. It seems like every time I warn them to stop doing something because it's dangerous and someone could get hurt, someone gets hurt. Yesterday poor Ethan got to experience this first hand. I was in the middle of explaining to Ian that pouring water on the floor isn't safe because someone could trip and fall. I was in the middle of having him wipe up the floor when Ethan walks by, trips and falls and bangs the side of his face on a chair. He hit his ear which immediatley turned purple. Poor thing, I really didn't ask for this gift and if everyone would just listen to me, it would all be okay:)

Matthew 6

The birds are always fed
the lilly's are all dressed
we've got our daily bread
by God's hands we are blessed.

He says not to worry
for all works out for our good
and all is for his glory
if we believe as we should.

Yet we complain and grumble
like the Jews in the desert roamed
never content and humble
God provided but still they moaned.

The God who numbers each star
and turned the sea to dry land
he is never very far
and holds us in his hand.

Each day God will provide
for us what is good and best.
The Spirit lives inside
to give us peace and rest.

Do we have the faith we need
to believe, trust and obey
the Lord who for us did bleed
and died to show us the way?

If on the right path we stay
and follow Him where He leads
great blessings we'll have each day
with faith of a mustard seed.

Family Fun

Ethan's back to doing soccer again on the weekends. Since he has practice at school once a week, we just have to take him to the game on Saturday. He's learned a lot from his coaches and is doing really well. He loves being goalie. Ethan, being true to form, lectured all the parents when they cheered for a goal. "It doesn't matter about the goals, it matters how you play." After the game this weekend, we went for a "hike" on some trails that are at the park. Yeah, I know, I think its strange too that Floridians actually use the word hike:)

Poetry

I love poetry, reading and writing it. It's been a long time since I've written anything, maybe six years. But lately God has given me some things to write about. I've been a lot more intentional during my quiet times with God to quiet my heart and as a result, I've been able to hear Him and learn from Him. Last summer I started writing my prayers in a journal and this has dramatically improved my prayer life. The two poems I've posted were a result of times I spent with God reflecting on His work in my life and what He has taught me. I think I have a few more in me so you can expect to see more in the future.

Meetings, meetings

Yesterday, I met with the person at the school district who runs much of the gifted program for the county. I was able to get some questions answered and talk about Ethan's options. Mostly I signed paperwork and left with more paperwork to sign. I am feeling empathetic to all my former clients who had to sign the mountains of paperwork I used to give them. While I was there, George was at the Christian school, registering Ethan for this fall. If we end up changing our mind, we'll lose a large registration fee. It looks like there will be more meetings down the road. Having attended many an ESE IEP meeting, I imagine ours will be similar (though hopefully more positive).

Home

I have this longing in my heart
for the place where I belong.
It has always been there from the start,
telling me that there is something wrong.

This cannot be all there is to life.
I've tried many ways to fill the hole;
from working, buying, to being a wife.
None of it fills the need in my soul.

A need to love and worship my Lord
who has searched me and knows all of me.
His love is perfect; one I can't afford.
But because of His son's death, it is free.

He promises life in heaven with him for always
and my faith is what He asks me for.
I trust in Him and will serve Him all my days.
My Savior has made this promise sure.

For when I serve Him with all my heart,
and turn from what the world says life should be,
I find my heart is no more torn apart;
the hole has been filled and now I see...

I have found HOME.

Weird

The other day a friend referred to gifted kids as "weird." She didn't know what we've been going through in recent weeks. But it got me thinking, is Ethan weird? He's the only five year old I hang out with on a regular basis so I don't have much to compare to. But the books I've been reading do say that gifted kids are often teased because the things they enjoy are different from other kids their age. I heard Ethan yesterday tell a friend "you know it's a challenge to use the bathroom when you are in the space shuttle because of gravity." One book pointed out that the very definition of a peer is different for gifted kids because they have peers who are there own age who they really want to fit in with and play with but aren't understood by them and there are peers who are like them and think the same way. I guess that's why a lot of schools group gifted kids together in a class to themselves, though this encourages the "weirdness" reputation. Though I've read gifted kids quoted as saying that they really love being around kids who are just like them because those kids understand their fascination with learning. I've read gifted kids described as "old souls" because of their concerns with problems in the world, death and afterlife, etc. I'm thinking that Ethan will definitely be considered different--the only cartoon he likes is "Magic School Bus" and his favorite channel is the science channel. He has educated us as to the name of the largest plane in the world--The Antenov. He adds and subtracts in his head, while I have to use my fingers. Most kids his age are collecting Bakugans. He got some for his birthday but could care less about them. So when he gets teased by other kids, I will have to point out to him that Jesus did not call us to be just like everyone else and we have to remain faithful to do what he has called us to do. And try to point out that not everyone enjoys the same things or is skilled in the same things. Monet probably didn't excel in basketball and the best photographers may not love calculus. I mean look at mommy she has her Master's but still counts using her fingers!

Joy Riding

School Decisions

Yesterday we met again with the principal at the Christian school we are looking into sending Ethan to. We gave him Ethan's psych. eval. and shared with him what the Dr. had suggested to us regarding Ethan's education. He was very open to trying to make adjustments to what they normally do with kindergarteners so that Ethan can remain challenged. He was totally fine with Ethan leaving one day a week to attend an enrichment program at the public school. We also spoke with the kindergarten teacher who agreed that Ethan would benefit from going to the first grade for math and possibly science. We will be meeting with them again soon, this time with the first grade teacher too. The principal will test Ethan soon so see what math and reading level he is at. Next week I'm meeting with the person who is in charge of the gifted program for the county to talk about the enrichment program. We are trying to be cautious about how we talk about all of this and to keep from talking about it in front of Ethan (don't need any big heads). He's been complaining about boredom in his pre-k class again so his teacher switched from a kindergarten curriculum for him to a first grade one, hopefully this will keep him stimulated. He has a long academic road in front of him that will be frustrating at many times along the way. I've been reading how much gifted kids hate the repetitive nature of traditional education and find it irrelevent. And how they hate worksheets. He has thousands of worksheets ahead of him...

No-See-Ums

On Thursday evening we took dinner to George's boss and family as they had just moved into a new house on the water. In Florida there are these little bugs that are smaller than knats that bite. I've only felt them on coastal areas so thankfully they are not at my house because it looks like Ian is allergic to them. A couple of months ago he was bit up on his legs by no-see-ums and scratched it so bad he got staph infection. When we were at our friends house, we were all attacked and it looks like they are small enough to fit through screens. I noticed when we left their house that Ian had a bite on his cheek. They next day his whole cheek was swollen. The doctor gave me Zyrtec for it which didn't do anything. And this morning, it is worse because his eye is now swollen. I guess we'll never be able to buy that house on the water now!:)

Reflections and Ponderings

Taste the Tears

I can taste my tears as they rain
slowly down
It seems the storm will never come
to an end
I cry out in my pain, sure that I
will drown
Hoping someone out there has a hand
to lend

Feeling that I'm running out
of time
How much longer will there be this
darkness?
It has been so long since I've seen the
sun shine
I'm afraid I will drown in this
mess

I come to your word hoping for
a cure
Of all this sadness that washes
over me
I read about a love that is
secure
It's hard to feel that I am loved, can
this be?

My tears are all counted and held in
a jar
You know the numbers of hairs on
my head
Your word tell me that you are
never far
Please pull me from this pit that is
my bed

You have a journey planned
for me
One that may have it's trials
and tears
But you have promised that never alone
will I be
You will be my comfort and take away
my fears

Help me to remain faithful
by your side
For your yoke is easy; the burden
is light
May my hope always in you
abide
Until my end of days and my soul
takes flight

C. Fox

Giftedness

I ordered a couple of books on gifted kids recently and have found them to be SO enlightening. I realized after Ethan saw the psychologist that I never had any training with working with gifted kids. Sure we studied IQ testing in school and discussed the theories and statistics behind it, but nothing on how to help a person who has a high IQ. (if it's not in the Diagnotic and Statistical Manuel of Psychiatric Disorders, we didn't learn it:). The adults and children I've counseled were always of average intelligence or borderline. Needless to say, I have learned a lot and it has explained SO much about Ethan. I really wish I had known this when he was 2, it would have really helped. Gifted kids often have particular personality traits and as I read through them it was like reading a biography on Ethan. Sensitivity, high emotionality, having to have tags cut off clothes, concerns about death and afterlife, the why questions that never stop, always off in his own little world "thinking," always correcting others, constant need for mental stimulation, being able to play well with older kids, etc. Last night George and I met with the psycholigist to get some advice on how to help Ethan educationally as well as get parenting advice. We mapped out his entire educational career through college. We decided on a few different scenarios for kindergarten so next we need to schedule some meetings to get things rolling. It's pretty complicated, how do you help a kid who starts kindergarten in the fall who really is intellectually in 3rd grade? We've realized that we don't have anyone to talk to about these issues. George met someone through his work whose child has the same IQ and he found it to be really helpful to talk to someone who has been through these decisions. The meeting last night was very helpful and I really like the psychologist. He gave us a lot of info. on how to raise Ethan and what to expect down the road. Our next challenge is how to explain all of this to Ethan in an appropriate way because his educational career is going to be pretty non-traditional and he'll have to adjust to being "different."