Graces 71-80

I want to start out our journey to Tennessee on a good note so I will leave today with some more of God's graces:

71.  Ian yelling "I love you mommy" after I put him to bed at night
72.  Ethan telling me he missed me when he was in camp
73.  My husband--a good listener and my rock
74.  My husband providing me with a vacation that he doesn't get to go on
75.  A trustworthy car that seats a lot of people
76.  Good friends to travel with
77.  Good tunes on the Ipod
78.  Yummy snacks packed for the road
79.  Friends and family who are praying for our travels
80.  The anticipation of fun times!

This is it

We leave tomorrow for our trip to Tennessee.  This is it, no backing out now.  3 moms, 4 boys, 1 van.  Scary!  We'll either come back home better friends than before we left or not friends at all (I of course am praying for the first one:) 
The kids are all very excited, Ian keeps talking about going to the Children's Museum and about how he gets to sleep on the floor at the hotel with Ethan.  Another friend is going to Tennessee as well and we'll meet her up there.  It'll be like our own camp with all the kids we're taking around Chattanooga:) 

Fun Continues

Constructing out of PVC pipes

Everybody at once!

We made a marble run out of carboard tubes and magnets.  A bit tougher to do than one might think.

Ethan's own design with their marble race kit

Heaven

Many mornings I wake up wondering, is today going to be the day?

Heaven

I catch a glimpse in the skies
in a heart full of joyful song
the wonder in a child's eyes
and in the mountains tall and strong

I feel it singing with the saints
in the arms of my family
and in those chills I can't explain
when I look out over the sea

I ache for it when I am ill
and when my child is feeling pain
when my tears continue to spill
at the result of sin's dark stain

We have a longing deep inside
on our heart's it's a written truth
to wipe away the tears we've cried
while creation groans for it's youth

In heaven is where we belong
where God's light will replace the sun
we'll join the angel's choir in song
when we hear our Lord say "Well done"

Forever we will gaze on His face
singing praises for His great worth
with our sins forever erased
on the New Heavens and New Earth

I really should be packing

Mommy's can't get sick.  Or they shouldn't.  I've been really sick the past few days, a revist of the same thing I had in January.  In the midst of everything my husband has going on, me getting sick isn't very helpful.  But we have a great babysitter who we can't live without.  So I am home resting which is actually hard to do because my meds make me so jittery. 

We were supposed to go out of town Friday and Saturday to visit family and then Sunday I'm headed on a big trip with some friends.  Looks like I may not make it to see family because I need to be rested up for a long drive Sunday afternoon.  The boys and I and a couple friends with their kids are going to Tennessee--all in one van.  My husband needs to study for his big promotion so we're going to leave him alone to do that.  It's going to be a lot of fun though I am anxious about how the kids will do.  We're staying in a hotel downtown Chattanooga and we'll do our normal stops around Chattanooga and Lookout Mountain.  So I'm praying for a speedy recovery, safe travel and a good time of fellowship.  That's not too much to ask, is it?

Slough of Despair

Speaking of the Pilgrim's Progress, I have been finding myself tempted to despair these past couple of weeks.  I have to be very careful about that because of my chronic struggle with depression.  Ian has been sick and not sleeping and my husband, who typically works 80 hours a week, has been studying for a promotion in his free time.  And there have been the temper outbursts of Ethan's to contend with.  I'm now sick as well.  There are two ways that the evil one tempts me off the path of righteousness and that is lack of sleep and lack of time to myself.  But God is good and has kept me drawn to His word, has provided me with accountability partners to keep me in check, and has used the writings of godly people to remind me of God's promises. 

"Lord, help!" they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.  He led them from the darkness and deepest gloom; he snapped their chains.  Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them."
Psalm 107:12-15

Treasures in heaven

"Do not store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal.  Store you treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.  Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will be also."  Matthew 6: 19-21

We've been talking about our family way "we are thankful to God for what we have whether it's a little or a lot" and "we are content with what we have, not coveting what others have" and we discussed the above verse as part of our devotional.  I thought I would do an activity with the boys to help them better understand what treasures in heaven means and told the boys we would draw pictures of treasure chests and cut pictures out of magazines of things we might put in the treasure chests; one of treasures in heaven and one for treasures on earth.

Ethan didn't like the idea and so we worked together to come up with another idea that was more appealing.  We decided to do a picture of the path to heaven with trucks on the path carrying our treasures and paths that went off the main path that also had trucks carrying earthly treasures being brought to hell.  (I think that the truck idea came from the fact that we had just watched on the Science Channel how Peterbilt trucks are made).  We spent a lot of time talking about the path to life that we need to stay on.  The bible instructs us in how to stay on that path.  We found some great words and phrases of treasures we can store up for heaven.  We then talked about all the distractions that the devil uses to try to get us off the path.  We found words, phrases and pictures of things we may covet and love more than God as well as sins that can keep us from staying on the path to life.

I followed up the activity with reading a children's version of the Pilgrim's Progress.  It's been a while since we last read it and Ethan was so enthralled he wanted me to read it all in one sitting.  So while our activity  didn't start out the way I thought it would, it actually became much more and an even better teaching time about the Christian life.

More Graces 61-70

The graces of God continue:

61.  Sleeping in
62.  seeing God working in Ethan's heart
63.  snuggling with my boys
64.  an opportunity to tell others about our church
65.  being given the morning off to get a pedicure
66.  the way God uses books by godly people to speak to my heart
67.  hope
68.  our couple's small group and the growth that is happening there
69.  watching Ian eat a cookie and smearing it all over his face
70.  hearing Ethan tell George he is the best daddy ever

Heaven for Kids

I've recently had a friend ask "how does a parent explain heaven to a child?"  This is a very delicate and complicated subject and one we struggled through, especially when Ethan was 3.  I posted about this topic at that time about how challenging it was to discuss death and afterlife with a young child.  At that time, we had difficulty finding books on the subject.

My main goal in explaining about death and afterlife is that when my kids think about heaven, I want them to be excited and look forward to being with God.  We always go back to the Fall in discussing death and explain how death came to the world because of the Fall and it separated us from our Creator.  With faith in Christ, our relationship can be restored and we have the hope of heaven where we will live with Him forever.  It was hard for Ethan to imagine anything being better than life on earth since he has not experienced much of the pain and sadness that we as adults have.  So instead I describe heaven as being a place where we never cry, never sin, never get sick, and we experience true joy eternally.  And I usually talk about people dying when they get old. 

As he's gotten older, Ethan seems to have accepted death as a fact of life and doesn't seem as terrified of it as he did when he frist learned about it.  Gifed kids for some reason are more concerned about death and the afterlilfe than the average person so he continues to talk about heaven quite frequently.  The other day, while I was folding laundrey, out of the blue Ethan says, "you know, if I died while I was young, Ian would really miss me and cry all the time."  I agreed and said that I probably would too.  He said, "Well you should actually be happy for me because I would be with God and soon you would come to be with me."  The next day he said that he couldn't wait to get to heaven.

We keep a book on heaven out on the kitchen table so that whenever he has a question about it, we look it up and discuss it.  It's kind of sad to take away their innocence about life and explain death to children, but it is one of the certain things in life (as well as taxes:).  And it is a great opportunity to share the gospel with your child.  I really believe that with Ethan having the love of Christ in his heart it takes away the scariness of death and the afterlife. 

A few resources on explaining the Fall, death, resurrection, heaven and more:
Heaven for Kids
The Lightlings
The Prince's Poison Cup
The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name

And for grownups:
Heaven
Mere Christianity
The Weight of Glory

The gifted brain

We had a lot of challenging moments this summer with Ethan.  Talking to a good friend who has a child with a high IQ has been very helpful.  I've been thinking about it a lot and have come to some conclusions.  I have realized that there is a delicate balance that we need to find between too much stimulation and not enough stimulation.  Too much on either end results in meltdown.  A gifted person has so much going on in their brain already that when they reach overload, it's too much to process.  On the other hand, when they get bored, they need to stimulate their brain.  We've walked this tightrope with Ethan.  I can't seem to keep up with the amount of stimulation his brain needs to keep him from getting bored.  When he gets bored he does things that drive me and Ian crazy.  When he's had too much: an extra playdate, a birthday party, a long day, it's too much for him and he can't handle it.  I've learned that when he has a busy day full of activity that for the next couple of days, we have to lay low. 

So, this does make me wonder how it will be for him to go to school.  It's a long day full of stimulation and I anticpate a lot of problems when he gets home each afternoon.  He's very athletic and we would love to start him up with soccer again in the fall but I think it will be too much to add on to school.  So, these are my challenges.  I've scheduled an appointment with the psychologist for George and I to meet with and get some advice.  Hoping he has some good ideas:)

More Summer Fun

Since Ian has been sick the past couple of weeks, I've not been able to do much "camp mommy" with Ethan.  But we've done some science experiments and other fun activities, including making our own bubbles. I've had him practicing his reading and he was very proud to read a level four book by himself (though the levels are pretty relative since each publisher has different standards but I'm proud of him just the same:)  He's not into drawing as much so we've been doing other arts and crafts activities.  And of course there's Lego's.  I think all boys are obsessed with them and Lego's have become the thing that has replaced drawing.  Drawing used to help him process whatever was going on in his mind and I think Lego's serve the same function.  Here's a few recent pictures. 

The bubble solution we made, learning about what happens when air is added to a liquid

Ethan's creations

An Ethan and Ian collaboration

Ethan diving to the bottom

Ian in the deep end

Forgiveness

"The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin.  I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it.  Instead i do what I hate."  Romans 7:14,15

It's been a long couple of weeks with little sleep.  Ian's ear and sinus infection keep him from sleeping well so I've been up a lot in the middle of the night.  The night before last I was up from 1am-5am.  By 5am I had turned into the person I hate the most--myself full of sin.  Saying the things I don't want to say, sarcasm abounding, crying hysterically, you get the picture.  Why do I do the very thing I don't want to do? 

It's the ongoing battle between my sin nature and my spiritual nature.  This battle will go on until I reach heaven, oh how I look forward to that day when my sin is completely stripped away and all that is left is a heart that is perfect and glorifies God in everything! 

"I have discovered this principle of life--that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong, I love God's law with all my heart.  But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.  Ths power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.  Oh, what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?  Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord."  Romans 6:21-25

And so I continue to sin.  I have said many times that I did not realize how much sin was in my heart until I became a parent.  And I am reminded everyday the depths of my sin.

But God is good and gracious, rich in mercy and forgiveness.  I cried out to him in the middle of the night, begged for his mercy and asked him to help me and he did.

And in the morning, the first thing Ethan said when he saw me was, "Mommy, I forgive you for being grumpy last night."  God reached out to me, extended forgiveness, showed me what it looks like and showed me that even a young child can forgive, surely I can extend forgiveness to my children for their struggles with sin! 

How ironic that our family way we've been working on is "We forgive one another covering an offense with love when wronged or hurt."  Praise God for his continual forgiveness through Christ and his death for us on the cross!

Teaching forgiveness:

       

Prayer

When Ethan was little it was a joy to listen to him pray and thank God for everything under the sun.  As he's gotten older, he hasn't enjoyed praying as much.  We've been working with him on understanding how to pray, what it means to pray, and really focusing on Who we're praying to.  Lately he tends to say the same two sentences every time he prays so we've been encouraging him to think about the fact that he is praying to a Person and would he like his best friend to call him and say the same thing every time they talk?  I've shared with him the fact that God does not need our prayers, for He needs nothing and is complete in Himself.  But He has chosen to use prayers in carrying out His will so it is important that we pray.  I frequently challenge Ethan about the fact that if we don't pray, things may not happen.  Since God uses prayer to carry out His plans and we never pray, we shouldn't be suprised when things don't change in our world. 

The past week or so we've encouraged Ethan to simply pray, "Lord teach me how to pray."  I was encouraged yesterday when our dear babysitter shared with me that Ethan had prayed with her at her house.  She works to help children in Haiti and she had been showing Ethan pictures of the kids and the village where they live.  He had given her lots of ideas for how to help make their school building better (that engineer mind:) and then said "If you prayed for a car and God provided a car for you, imagine what would happen if we prayed for this Haitian school and the kids?"  He asked her to pray with him then and there.  She said she felt the Spirit at work and was amazed at the prayer he prayed to God.  We had chills as she recounted the story. 

And so God is answering Ethan's prayer for him to learn how to pray.  I told his sitter that since the Spirit was working on him at her house, he should probably stay there and live with her!

Books on prayer for kids:   I Can Talk To God By Praying Jesus' Way (My Favorite Verses)
                                         What Happens When I Talk to God?: The Power of Prayer for Boys and Girls

And for grownups:  The Prayer of the Lord
                              Pray With Your Eyes Open: Looking at God, Ourselves, and Our Prayers
                             Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth
                              A Simple Way to Pray

More Daily Graces

51. Waking up to find a child had snuck into my bed and fell asleep
52.  Watching my oldest "day dream" as he skips around the house
53.  Babysitters who take the kids to the beach
54.  A clean house
55.  Reading Tozer.
56.  An entire room with train tracks set up on the floor
57.  The sound of little boys saying "Choo choo!"
58.  Having time to think.
59.  Planning for a trip.
60.  The excitement in my boys from the simple pleasure of a smoothie.

1000 Graces 40-50

My list is varied this time; God has showered me with his grace in different ways this week:

41.  My blooming Crepe Mrytle tree
42.  My first success with growing vegetables--two little peppers on the plant
43.  Unexpected present from a friend
44.  Listening to my husband do family devotions
45.  Ethan asking questions about the bible
46.  true friendships
47.  a community to do "life together" with
48.  the way light seems to dance on top of the pool when the sun is first rising in the morning
49.  God's strength when I have none
50.  boundless energy and smiling faces of little boys

Real Love

I've been reading a lot of books the past couple of years that have been saying similar things about what it means to truly love God and as a result of thinking about what I've read, I wrote this poem.

Real Love

When we became your bride,
we vowed eternal love,
that we'd stay by your side,
eyes fixed on you above.

How quickly those eyes strayed!
Our first love was replaced,
by idols man has made
and we felt no disgrace.

Believing we're still yours,
never bearing our cross,
wanting to live secure,
not sharing with the lost.

Thinking or fate is sealed,
(we said the sinners prayer)
how does it make you feel
when our hearts are elsewhere?

Looking in a mirror
we foget what we saw.
Obeying what we heard
shows love is not a fraud.

We're to give all we own
and rejoice in our pain.
Living for you alone;
heaven will be our gain.

Resources to check out:  Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist
Searching for God Knows What      Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit  Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream    The Prodigal God     The Practice of Godliness: Godliness has value for all things

Car Talk

Women are born communicators and thrive on it.  And as we know, men typically are not.  There is usually more success in communicating when you are participating in an activity like watching tv, fishing, etc. rather than sitting across the table talking.  The same is true with children, thus the reason psychotherapists spend a lot of time playing with children during therapy.  I spent a lot of time playing basketball, taking kids out for ice cream, playing board games, etc. when I worked with children.  And so, one of the best places I've found for good conversation and teaching moments is in the car with Ethan.  He is always talking and asking questions in the car and I think he is more comfortable talking to me about serious things since we're not looking at each other.

So today in the car we had great conversation about God and the difference between unbelievers and believers.  We talked more about the concept of the "God shaped hole" as well as the different beliefs people have about the afterlife.  I took the opportunity to point out to him that many unbelievers may seem to live very happy lives, have everything they want, have little worries and discussed how David felt the same way until he remembered their destiny.  The teaching opportunities continued at home while Ethan was coloring he talked about sinful behaviors he noticed in others.  I always have a bible sitting on the kitchen table for easy access and I opened to Matthew 7 and told him that Jesus said something funny about that very thing.  He enjoyed the word picture of the speck and the log and we talked about the importance of dealing with our own sin before pointing out sins in others (oh how I need to work on that too!).

The best teaching moments often come during unplanned times, unexpectedly and it's important that we be ready for those opportunities.   This also means soaking ourselves in the word so that we know it so well, we can refer to it for each teaching moment that occurs.  I want for Ethan to get so used to me saying, "the Bible says..." that when he is older, he will seek answers in the Bible himself.

Related Resources: Parenting With Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments,  Heaven for Kids,
New Believer's Bible: First Steps for New Christians (New Living Translation)

Boys and Their Forts

The boys made a fort this week with my dining room chairs.  They've been having so much fun together, it's cute to see them enjoying playing with each other.  Yesterday they pretended they were defending a princess (me) from the bad guys.  They kept throwing their "weapons" through a little hole at the top of the fort.  We had a cable guy here, I thought for sure he was going to get clonked!  I'm not sure if they are ever going to let me take it down.

Related Resources:  Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons

July 4th

We have a 4th of July tradition of having friends over for a barbeque.  The fireworks are too loud for our kids and we don't care for the crowds so we stay at home.  If it's not raining, you can see fireworks from our back yard.  This year we had a few other families over to swim, cook on the grill and do our own fireworks.  The kids love the poppers that you throw on the ground and they make a loud popping sound.  And of course the love the sparklers.  I was nervous about Ian holding them but he did fine.  Good times with good friends!