All of Life as Grace

Each week I add to my list of graces God gives me each and every day. I'm making my way to a thousand graces and hopefully beyond. Gratitude I'm finding, is life transforming and the source of Joy.  The real test of gratitude is whether I have it during times of trial and difficulty because God is at work during those times as well as the good times.  That for me is the hard part, especially given my propensity to depressive thinking.  But the more time I spend in prayer and in God's word, feasting on the graces he's given me, the more I am able to see grace in everything in my life.

"The foremost quality of a trusting disciple is gratefulness. Gratitude arises from the lived perception, evaluation, and acceptance of all of life as grace--as an undeserved and unearned gift from the Father's hand. Such recognition is itself the work of grace,and acceptance of the gift is implicitly an acknowledgement of the Giver. The grateful heart cries out in the morning, "Thank you, Lord, for the gift of a new day."   Brennan Manning

141. When I was in despair this week, my husband made a surprise stop home from work for a couple of hours.
142. The Holy Spirit who confronts me and points out my sin to me.
143. My children who immediately forgive me when I apologize for my unkind tone of voice and frustration.
144. Encouragement from friends who speak God's word to me.
145.  Seeing Ethan more inspired to learn than ever--I think he's on a mission to learn the names of every country in the world.  His gifted teacher likes to think he'll be a social studies teacher.
146.  Seeing Ian's increased interest in reading.
147.  Feeding on God's word during a time of fasting this week for our church.
148.  The slightly cooler air that a tropical storm brought us.
149.  Getting to go out of town overnight with friends.
150.  Getting to go shopping while out of town with friends.

"To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives--the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections--that requires hard spiritual work.  Still, we are only grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment.  As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for.  Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God."  Henri Nouwen

"For all things give thanks to God, because this is what God expects you to do in Christ Jesus." 1Thess. 5:18

Weekend with Grandparents

My parents came into town from WVA to visit and celebrate Ethan's 6th birthday.  Six years has gone by quickly!  He is very excited to be 6.  He recently lost his first tooth (the right way), in fact it fell out at school.  We had a little family thing for his birthday last night.  George reminded Ethan of the hurricanes that came that year to announce his arrival:)  He's heard it so many times, it's not interesting to him anymore.  He requested blueberry pancakes for dinner and asked for cupcakes with strawberry icing.  I'm not a cake baker so thankfully strawberry icing exists in a tub at the grocery store.  Poor thing had to wait all day and until after dinner to open his presents.  By dinner time he was running circles around the house.  I think his favorite thing was a $2 whistle I had gotten him.  He had been saying for weeks that he wanted a whistle, if I had known it was that important, I wouldn't have gotten anything else:)

My parents with the boys

Legos!

Love big boxes!

Yummy, breakfast for dinner!

Lighening McQueen sprinkles on strawberry icing--an acquired taste I'm convinced.

Ian in the tunnel at the park

Ethan in the tunnel

My mom and Ethan battled it out in the pool

She got him!

The Fiery Tongue

Ethan stayed home sick from church with me yesterday so we had Sunday school at home.  Since daddy is a fire fighter, the boys understand fire and how it spreads.  So we did an activity using fire fighting stickers to help him understand the passage from James that says:

"We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.  And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong.  In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.  But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.  And the tongue is a flame of fire.  It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body.  It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.  People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue.  It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.  Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.  And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth." 3:3-10

One of our Family Ways is "We encourage one another using only words that build up and bless others."  As in most families with siblings, this is an ongoing battle.  So after reading the above passage, we talked about how our minds control our feelings and then trigger the words we say.  So if Ian takes a toy from Ethan and Ethan thinks to himself,  "How dare he take that from me, it's mine!" Those thoughts trigger angry feelings and then sinful words come out of his mouth toward his brother.  In our firefighting analogy, we had small stickers of "sparks" of fire which we labeled different thoughts and behaviors (jealousy, pride, cursing).  The water that the fire fighters used to put out the fire is God's word, prayer, repentence and the power of the Holy Spirit. 

I think this project will be one we'll hang up and consult quite regularly or until sibling rivalry ends...maybe when they're in their 50's?

A Godly View of Self

As the older child, Ethan has always been one to boss others around.  I remember him being not yet three and telling another child at the grocery store that they were sitting in the shopping cart incorrectly.  It's only become more frequent as he has gotten older.  When you add the intelligence factor, it seems to make him more bossy.  How do you teach someone to have a Godly view of themselves?

One of the things that I do regularly is tell him that God gave him his ability to learn things quickly for a special reason.  God planned good works for us before the creation of the world and whatever attributes, skills or abilities He has given us, they are to be used for His glory.  "For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10  And so we talk about God having a plan to use Ethan for the building up of his kingdom--whether it's as a scientist, a pilot, a teacher or whatever his calling may be.  One of the obvious reasons I tell him this is so that he would remember that his abilities come from God, not himself.  But an additional reason is that it is part of my blessing that I give him (see The Blessing).  Encouragement is often underused or misused with our children.  We are pretty good at saying "You're such a good runner." or "Your such a handsome little boy."  But true encouragement is "the verbal affirmation of someone's strength, giftedness, or accomplishment, along with the realization that God the creator is the ultimate source behind whatever's being affirmed." (see Unfashionable: Making a Difference in the World by Being Different).  "The secret to true encouragement is learning to see God's reflection in others, not just in Christians but in everyone.  Encouragement is noticing God's reflection in other people's strengths and gifts, then verbally affirming what we see." (Unfashionable: Making a Difference in the World by Being Different).

Now that he is around other kids of high intelligence, I have concerns that he will struggle with humility.  So in addtion to the blessing or encouragement I give him, I also remind him of what he can and cannot boast about.  He has come home saying something like "the other kids in my class notice that I am smart too because they copy what I am doing."  We looked up and read this passage from Jeremiah and whenever he makes a comment like that, I remind him of what the scripture says:  "This is what the Lord says: 'Don't let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things.  I, the Lord, have spoken!'" 9:23,24.

Grandma's Visit

We haven't seen my mother-in-law in quite a while (they've been traveling the world--well just Spain and France).  They just got back into town and so she decided to come over for a visit the past weekend.  The highlight for the boys was showing her their wood planes they put together and flying them outside (requiring only one tree rescue).

Thankful 131-140

I'm steadily making my way through my 1,000 graces God has given me.  The Gratitude Community is pretty large and it's neat to see what God is doing in other people's lives.

131.  Just when I thought I couldn't make it another day parenting by myself, George's mom came into town to visit and help out.
132.  That means I got to sleep in until 8am on Saturday.
133.  That also means I got to work a little on my digital scrapbook.
134.  Our house has been much neglected the past six months.  A friend came over to help fix things that have broken.  I have a long list so he'll be back:)
135.  The final part to my husbands promotional exam is tomorrow--yay!
136.  I got to teach the 2yr olds in church yesterday.  They were so cute!
137.  I've been praying each day that God would use me to do his kingdom work and that he would lead me to where he wants me.  I've been asked by the elders at my church to be on the pastoral search committee.  It's an honor and I'm excited about it. 
138.  That means I get to read fun theological stuff about choosing a pastor, get to talk about fun theological stuff with the members of the committee, and get to hear lots of sermons--what could be better than that?
139.  This morning my husband offerred to take Ethan to school.
140.  That means I did not have to set my alarm and instead got up when Ian got up:)

Volunteering

I always assumed I would volunteer wherever Ethan went to school.  I even thought I might like to volunteer in the classroom.  When we did kindergarten orientation I started feeling like the PTA members were like used car salesmen as they tried to get me to commit to volunteer at the school.  Yesterday I went to a volunteer orientation to get more details on volunteer opportunities.  I had thought I'd like to volunteer in the guidance office or in the gifted class so I wanted to find out more about what's involved.  I missed the "get dressed up" memo, arriving in my shorts and tank; thankful that one other mom arrived in her gym clothes.  I also had to bring Ian with me, thankfully there was a lot of food for him to be distracted by. ( I was told by a PTA person that I could bring Ian because other moms would bring their kids--he was the only one not in a baby carrier).

As time went on I started getting a feeling that being involved as a regular volunteer might not be the right thing.  The school prides itself on the fact that they have SO many parent volunteers and they have won a number of awards for the amount of hours the volunteers put in.  And they mentioned each and every award at the meeting I attended.  It was hard for me to not feel uncomfortable about all the bragging.  I know its great that so many parents participate in the life of the school because many other schools never have parents involved.  It seems that if you are a stay at home mom, it is assumed and expected that you will commit to be there every week volunteering.  I've quickly realized I am not the "classroom mom" type and that it would probably be torture for me to do that.  And so I've been debating in my mind about the level of commitment I should have at the school.

I've also been thinking about the fact that the school doesn't really NEED me as a volunteer in the sense that I wouldn't be doing anything all that helpful.  The kids are overprivileged and have every advantage at the school.  The PTA does a lot of fundraisers to raise money for high tech gadgets for the teachers to use in the classroom.  And they recruit heavily to get people to help out at those events.  Part of me thinks that if I were to dedicate time to volunteering at a school I ought to do it at an underprivileged school where none of the parents volunteer and I could actually be of help to the students.  I know from my past work for Big Brothers Big Sisters that the kids in more underprivileged schools often need tutoring and just contact from an adult who cares.  In fact, I also think that maybe the PTA should consider giving the money they make in fundraising to an underprivileged school.  I know, I'm crazy to think such a thing. 

But then I think, aren't I supposed to be involved at the school where my child attends?  At least so I can get to know the teacher and see who his friends are?  For right now I think I'm just going to go whenever I can to a Wednesday morning volunteer time where they do a lot of prep. work for the teachers (like for craft activities).  And they say I can bring Ian.  I've also been told that the Wednesday morning time is great for getting to know other moms.  My problem is that I struggle so much with trying to socialize with the wealthy moms in our community.  I'm so bad at small talk that I never know what to say and I usually have little in common.  But I will give it a try and in the meantime I will be praying that my attitude improves because I know I sound snarky (I stole that word from a friend:)

The Word and the Strainer

In my ongoing quest to teach the boys about the Way to Life and staying on the Path of Life, we often talk about the wisdom of Solomon and his words of caution to seek after Wisdom rather than foolishness.  I want the boys to develop a Christian worldview early in life that will help them make those important choices to keep them on the Path.  While Kant may have first used the term "worldview," scripture is the first and only source for our Christian worldview.

Today we read from Philippians: "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." (4:8,9).  I was a philosophy minor in college and a recurring theme in those courses was the concept of a cognitive grid or framework through which we filter ideas through our worldview.  I can still see the drawing of the grid on the chalkboard drawn by my prof. and that inspired me for an activity we did today.  After reading the passage from Philippians, we talked about what a filter does; specifically the ones we have in our house (allergy filters that filter dust particles out of the air).  I got out a strainer that I use (kind of like a collandar with smaller holes) and told the boys to pretend that the strainer was God's word.  I got out a can of tomatoes with habanaros (why did I buy those?) and said that the can was a situation we were confronted with that we needed to make a choice about (a movie to watch, words to say, an activity to participate in).  In this case, the can was a specific situation that occurred over the weekend where a friend of Ethan's had come up with a plan for treating some other people unkindly and I happened to overhear it and intervened.  And as I poured out the can into the strainer, we went through each item in the list that Paul made: was this true? honoring to God? right with God's commands?, lovely?, etc.  I described the list of Paul's as a brain test or tool for our minds to use to filter each situation through and whatever is able to get through the filter of God's word is a wise choice, and whatever cannot, is not a wise choice.

"My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life.  I will teach you wisdom's ways and lead you in straight paths.  When you walk, you won't be held back; when you run, you won't stumble.  Take hold of my instructions; don't let them go.  Guard them, for they are the key to life."  Proverbs 4:10-13

Resources for parenting and developing a Christian worldview:

     

Hospitality

I posted recently about spiritual gifts and I've been praying for a while for God to provide opportunities for me to use mine.  Hospitality is one of those gifts and I have used that one in abundance this past week.  A month ago I had planned to have a large group over for a bbq on Labor Day.  Then I learned that our small group needed someone to host for this past Friday night so I volunteered.  And then I learned that a women's event needed a house to host the event on Saturday so I volunteered for that as well.  So three events at our house this past week.  Very tiring of course but I enjoyed the fellowship and the opportunity to serve. 

Hospitatilty does not come naturally to me.  We really appreciated people in our lives who extended hospitality to us when we were in college and also after we were first married.  We both really wanted to learn how to extend biblical hospitality to others and so I asked those people to share with me how they used their gift, observed them in action, and tried to use the gift myself.  I didn't know how to cook anything when I was first married but I could follow a recipe so I got recipes from friends, books and magazines and through trial and error learned how to make a meal for a group to enjoy.  I'm not outgoing and am pretty shy so hosting a group of people at our house is definitely a work of God in and through me. 

Since I am shy, I usually need some time to myself after a lot of social interaction so I'll probably take a couple weeks off before I host another event:)

Sharing the Gospel

Ian has been interested in talking and learning about Jesus recently so I've been thinking a lot about what it means to share the gospel with our children.  It seems like most Christian children's books focus on stories from the bible, disconnected from the rest of scripture.  Little kids love learning about Noah and the ark and David and Goliath.  And while those stories are good to read, I don't want my kids to learn those stories from a moralistic perspective, but rather how those stories fit into God's redemptive plan.

I also don't want to be a parent whose main concern is getting my child to say "the sinner's prayer" and then take a deep breath as though my job is done.  I want my kids to understand the holiness of God and what it really means for a holy and righteous God to leave his heavenly throne to come to earth, live a sinless life, and die for our sins.  I want them to have a deep love for God that changes them; where they love God more than anything else.  And that has been my daily prayer.

And so as I've been sharing the gospel with Ian and teaching him about who God is and what he has done for us, my prayer is that Ian would never remember a day in his life when he did not know and love God.  And while it is the Holy Spirit who does the work of bringing his dead soul to life, I do have a responsibility to teach and model for him the love of Christ. 

And so sharing the gospel with my kids is not a one time event, but a conversation that happens daily.  It happens when they are struggling with getting along and we talk about how God created both of them and when we mistreat one another, we are showing God that we do not like what he has created.  And when they are having difficulty sharing and we talk about what it means to love God with all our heart and when we do, we understand that it means loving Him more than toys.  That we need to hold onto our belongings loosely so that when God calls us to share, we do it freely.  And when the kids (especially my oldest) begins to brag about his learning abilities and how much better he is at things than others, we read and learn from Jeremiah that we are not to brag about anything, not our smarts, our power, our money.  But the only thing we can boast in is that we know the Lord.

I ask Ian his catechism questions about whether there is more than one true God and he answers, "just one and He's the one that's in our heart right?" The Holy Spirit is giving me an opportunity right then to share with him all that God has done for us in his son Jesus.  But not just at that moment, everyday.

Great Resources For Teaching About God:

     

Praise

Today George had the first part of his Captain's test for work, the written portion.  He's been studying since the end of last year and most intensely since June.  I prayed with he and Ethan this morning praying that he would ace the test and get the highest score out of all the test takers.  God can do abundantly more than we believe He can do.  George chuckled after I prayed and said, "If that happened, it would definitely be divine intervention."  (it's all divine intervention and if he did poorly on the test that would mean God has something better in store for him and different plan).

So he called me this afternoon to inform me he had a 97%, the highest score of anyone!  God is good.  The boys have been going around saying "Daddy won, daddy won!" The next portion of the test is in a couple of weeks so he's back to studying to get ready for it.

On the way home from the test it seemed like it was taking him longer to get home than I expected.  When I finally reached him he told me there was an accident on the highway that he pulled over for.  There was a child about Ethan's age who had broken his femur in the accident so George attended to him and made sure that a trauma helicopter came due to the seriousness of the injury.  It wasn't in the city he worked for, just on his way home.  The child's family can be confident knowing that George really knows his stuff--more than anyone else in fact! :)

So thanks to everyone who has been praying, we are grateful!

List of Graces 121-130

121. It's September so that means Fall is almost here.  Even though I don't get to experience real Fall here at least I know it's going to be a little cooler soon.
122.  And since it's Fall, it's also Pumpkin Spice Latte time at Starbucks!
123.  God has blessed us with great friends to share Labor Day with.
124.  Awesome friends who help set up and take down after parties
125.  God has been gracious to keep the kids from any major meltdowns which is good because I've been a single parent the past month or so.
126.  George's test is tomorrow, part 1
127.  God's crazy love for us.  We had an awesome study this morning at church and spent some time meditating on Revelation 4.
128.  A wonderful friend volunteered in the nursery so mom's could come to my study
129.  We get to host small group this Friday night at our house and I'm looking forward to our study on Philippians
130.  Getting to share the gospel with Ian.  Little kids are so cute.  I asked Ian his catechism question about how many God's there are and he says, "Only one true God.  He's the one in our heart right?

We have everything

We've been having guest preacher's at our church the last few weeks and today the guest preacher taught from Philippians 4.  It's funny how many times you can read a passage and feel like you really know it and then hear someone speak on it and you are struck by something new.  That's God speaking to us through his word.  We were taught from verses 4 and 5 and he spent a lot of time talking about joy, our source of joy, and why we can demonstrate "reasonableness" no matter the circumstances at hand.  When the HS moves into our heart He comes with all the tools necessary to do the work in our hearts.  He comes with gifts and fruits--one of those fruits is Joy.  The thing that struck me was when the speaker pointed out that we have everything we need to accomplish anything because we have the HS.  It doesn't matter what trial or difficulty or problem that may be before us--we have everything we need.  And in the midst of those problems we can have real joy because we know who holds the world.  We know intimately the One who gave His life for us so that we can have life with Him.  And everything else fades.

And so I've been thinking about this today because on Tuesday I begin co-leading a bible study at church on the book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan.  It's one of my absolute favorite books in recent years so I'm excited to go through it with other women at our church.  I've not led a study with a group larger than 5 and so I've been a little apprehensive.  I've been praying for each woman that God leads to the study that He will equip me with the wisdom to share His word with them and that their hearts would be open to learn and grow in their relationship with Him. 

And tonight as I reflect on this passage from Philippians, I know that I have everything I need to lead this study.  And no matter what may come up to complicate things, the HS is active and working to accomplish God's will. 

Won't you pray with me for the study this week?

Learning God's Word

We're getting back into our school year routine.  After taking a break from the catechism during the summer to review Our 24 Family Ways (2010), we've started back up where we left off.  I had started Ethan on the catechism by the time he was two and beginning this year decided to switch to the adult version.  Ian is doing the kids version and we are learning a verse each week as well.  I don't remember to do things unless it's right in front of my face, so on the wall in the kitchen is a bulletin board where I have our verses and catchism questions posted.  I also have our family ways listed and a whole section for the ministries we support so that we can pray for them and for our Compassion child.  Each morning at breakfast we practice our verse and that week's catechism question and do a devotional.

In my continued effort to reach Ethan's heart with the word of God, I decided to highlight a number of passages in his bible and put tabs on the pages.  He doesn't know how to find different verses in the bible yet but I want him to learn to hide God's word in his heart so my hope is that when he is reading in bed at night, he can read those select passages and get a feel for where they are in scripture and learn for himself what God teaches.  I chose his favorite passages in the old testament as well as a few in Proverbs and a number of passages in the new testament including John 3:16 and parts of Ephesians 4 and 5.

Additional resources:

 

Gifted Class

Ethan started his gifted class this week.  He seemed to really like it and reported more on what he did in there than he has about his regular class.  One thing I did notice is that his perfectionism was more pronounced that day after being in the gifted class (yes, it is possible for him to be even more of a perfectionist).  I think he's so used to being the smartest one in the class and in the gifted class, he's not.  He was beating himself up all afternoon, saying "I can't do anything right."  When I picked him up from school, he soon remembered that he had left a drawing on his desk that he had been working on in the gifted class.  He was very upset and cried for quite a while.  The school has a policy that the kids are responsible for their own things and if they forget or lose something, they experience the consequences for it.  For example, if they forget their lunch at home their parents are not to bring it to the school for them.  It will be challenging for him to adjust to not always knowing everything but I know it will be good for him.

Last night I went to the curriculum night at the gifted class.  They will be doing a world traveling theme this year and will be learning a lot about geography and other cultures.  The teacher will incorporate math, reading and science into what they are learning.  She is really great and totally GETS gifted kids.  She understands their idiosyncrasies, sensitivities, energy, and desire to learn.  They are not supposed to have to make up missed work from their regular class, just show proficiency at whatever skill they may have missed.  I know he is going to love being in her class and will probably wish he was in there everyday.